five years

to the one i love fiercely. to the one who gave new beats in my heart. to the one who doesn't take my bull shit. to the one who loves me no matter what. to the one who takes care of me. to the one who stays up making me laugh when i can't sleep. to the one who thinks i'm sexy in dirty sweat pants. to the one that is my first true love. to the one who gave me my everything. to the one who stays up listening to music until the wee hours of the morning. to the one who makes me smile. to the one who is an amazing father. to the one i love. brian. thank you for the last five years. they have been amazing and i can't wait for a lifetime of years to come. you know my heart and you know my soul. i couldn't ask for more or want for more with you.

you are my love. you are my universe. happy five years baby. 

saturday: song

i don't think i tell brian enough, but he truly is my best friend.

last night we went to sleep early (8:30pm early!!!) then at about 1:00am he was wide awake + woke me up (he claims on accident), but i am happy he did. we stayed up all night just talking, telling stories of our childhood (some old, some new). we laughed all night. we had not done this in a long time. it was so refreshing to have a night where it was just us listening to each others silliness in the dark.

i would do anything for this man. he is my everything. he gave me my everything else.

he supports every crazy idea i come up with and is always 100% on board.

i love you, you are my best.

notes on nathan

can i please take back everything i said in my last notes on nathan? 

lately he has been the sweetest + most easy going boy in the world. so basically the opposite of what had been going on around here. 

maybe it was the fresh colorado air, our new approach in parenting, or being back at school for a week of camp. whatever it was that made him change, i am forever grateful. 

now our days contain lots of kisses, i love you's, + thank you's.

 no i am not bragging that my son is all of a sudden perfect. we still have moments of "im not gonna do that"s, melt downs (on both of our parts), + time outs, but they are minimal. please, parents be honest, what three year old doesn't act out? 

if you are sitting there reading this and saying "hmm, mine doesn't" then you know what. i do not believe you. 

i am just happy to have my sweetheart back. we are really able to enjoy our last days of summer together to the fullest.

the thank you's have gotten a little excessive, "thank you for putting my stroller in the car, thank you for changing the channel for me, thank you for brushing my teeth, thank you for the hug, thank you for making daddy dinner..." I should not be complaining though AT ALL.

i was talking to a good friend the other day about our boys growing up. her boy is 16 months + at the stage of when you blink your eyes too long everything changes. he is looking so much older, talking so much more, running so much faster, + learning so much, so quickly! not being his mom, i absolutely love watching all of this take shape, but it just reminds me how bittersweet that age is for a mom. she said it perfectly, "you can't wait to see what is next, but you don't want him to grow up." i feel like this statement holds true at every age. nate is three now (THREE, still so crazy to me) + growing up at a rapid pace. i am so excited for him to start handwriting in school this year, over joyed to cheer him on in soccer + i love to watch him learn new things, but i can feel his independence starting to take over. i really am so happy to watch him become his own person, but i miss him needing me for everything. yes, it is nice to be able to sit for more than 10 minutes without interruptions of "i need this, can you get me this, etc.," but he literally has to do everything for himself now. i miss him needing me. i miss the constant snuggles.

who knows maybe this next stage will be the best stage, just like all the other ages have been my favorite. we do have a lot of exciting things happening for him this year after all. i am learning to embrace all these wonderful things he gets to do now, that he couldn't participate in when he was younger.