time for change

March 13, 2013
while we spring forward, i take a step back.

a step back to look at my life.

here are two facts:
 i am an excellent mother + an amazing girlfriend.

you might say that's a little arrogant of me to claim so proudly, but i am able to say these things so out right. when i do take a step back to look at my life i see two very happy boys [one little, one big].
i measure my success at home by our happiness levels + lately we are filled to the top with love + joy.

i am in no way perfect, in fact i have a lot of flaws.

i am taking this spring to make some changes in my life.
here are some words that are helping to keep me motivated to change.

change is hard. i love it, but its hard.
i am a procrastinator, scatter brained [especially lately],+ lazy.

i want to change my lifestyle. this is a very ambitious change, but step by step in each aspect of life i can do this. it has to start with each choice i make everyday + all day.
i want to be a healthier + a more financially stable person. this means skipping an afternoon snack of cheese + crackers, choosing water over a diet dr. pepper, making a healthy dinner everynight, {even if the last thing i want to do is cook} + walking to the park instead of driving {i need to take advantage of our central location}.  It means not spoiling nathan with toys he doesn't need, not going to target to get something i can get at cvs {target is my weakness}, + once again making dinner every night instead of eating out 2-3 times a week. i just need to face the fact that we can't always afford the lifestyle we live in now + thats okay. Life can still be happy + comfortable when we live inside our means.  we will probably be happier, which in my book means more successful. 

i need to have confidence in myself. i have always been a creative person, but lately i have been doubting this.  i need to believe myself and stop making excuses not to try.  i used to paint or draw everyday. i need to stop making the excuse that there isn't a space to do this. if i can make space for a playroom i can make space for an easel or pad of paper + my tools.  i need to stop adding more + more inspiring images into my art folder + just start creating. 

i need to love what i'm doing.  if im having an off week i can't feel bad about not posting or not finishing a project + just learn to set it aside + show it some love another day. if i hate doing something i won't be doing it the best way.  i need to love what im doing in order to do it well. i need to love what im doing in order to make a change.

i need to be the change.

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